6 warning signs your new tenant is Lindsay Lohan

The press might be full of horror stories about nightmare landlords and demonic estate agents, but troublesome tenants are just as common. And they don’t come much more troublesome than Lindsay Lohan, the actress-turned-trainwreck whose antics have made her an absolute nightmare to insure.

Lindsay Lohan is the ultimate bad tenant; unreliable, impulsive, and infamously accident-prone. Worried you might end up leasing your property to a Lohan? Check out our warning signs.

parent-trap_lindsay-lohan1. If your prospective tenant has played twins in two or more films during their career, be on your guard. They may well pretend to be their own sibling to avoid confrontation during any pre-scheduled visits to the property.

lindsay_lohan_gericht2. If the person viewing properties has been nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Actress, then you’d best get ready for a slew of insultingly transparent excuses on why the rent is late.

2013-01-15T184025Z_1_CBRE90E1FVZ00_RTROPTP_2_CENTERTAINMENT-US-LINDSAYLOHAN3. If the letter of reference from their last landlord is signed ‘Betty Ford’, it’s probably best to think twice about leasing the property to them.

lindsay_lohan_was_drunk_in_rehab-550x4414. If your prospective tenant looks like their weight goes up and down more frequently than Paris Hilton, bear in mind that the faint aroma of vomit might make the property more difficult to rent in the future.

lindsay-lohan-drunk-smeared-make-up-driving-0723-95. If they show up to a viewing in a rented Mercedes with last night’s Cristal on their breath, you can rest assured that this person will trash your property and do a moonlight flit, leaving red wine stains on the walls and suspicious-looking powders in the bathrooms.

mughan6. If the individual in question can’t make it to the initial interview because it clashes with their latest court date, take it as a huge warning sign; this probably isn’t the right tenant for you.

If you’re reading this too late and fear you may already have rented your property to Lindsay Lohan, here’s some friendly advice on what to do when she inevitably does a runner, leaving a trail of broken cameras in her wake – flip the mattress and hire a professional cleaning crew. Maybe one that specialises in crime scenes.