General Election Special: The party leaders re-imagined as estate agents

It is a matter of mere weeks to go until the election, and things couldn’t be a more nerve-racking for leaders of the UK’s political parties. But they shouldn’t fret if things don’t quite work out as they hope; the unique skills that they’ve acquired as politicians stand them in good stead if they fancy a career change – especially if they don’t mind entering a line of work even more hated than their current one.

We decided to re-imagine them all as estate agents, to see what the future might hold.


David Cameron

With his silken baby face, quaffed hair and portly demeanor, the Tory leader was born to be an estate agent. Dave’s well oiled sales patter would be a match for even the slickest Foxtons suit.

Where: The Cotswolds

Type of properties: Crumbling farmhouses

Car: Land Rover Discovery

Catchphrase: Long term investment.

Britain's opposition Labour Party Leader Ed Miliband speaks at the London Business School in London

Ed Miliband

The Miliband family has form when it comes to swinging dodgy property deals; Ed’s father Ralph used a  deed of variation to split the family home between his wife and sons, thus reducing inheritance tax on the property.  Ed might seem like an alien to most people, but he’d be perfectly at home as a wheeling and dealing estate agent.

Where: North London

Type of properties: Islington town houses

Car: Mini

Catchphrase: Hell yes, I can do you a deal..


Nick Clegg

Clegg is the sort of man who promises one thing, then goes and does the exact opposite. We can’t imagine he’ll find it difficult adapting to his new role as an estate agent.

Where: Spain

Type of properties: Marbella villas

Car: Suzuki Jimny

Catchphrase: I’m sorry for tripling your agency fees…


Nicola Sturgeon

Sturgeon is a natural born hustler with a keen nose for striking hard bargains. If she gets her way this election, she could end up strong-arming the rest of the UK to Scotland’s will. If things don’t work out in politics, we can just as easily picture her “encouraging” tenants to sign on the dotted line.

Where: Glasgow

Type of properties: Ex-council flats

Car: Mercedes C-Class

Catchphrase: What do you mean, ‘no’?


Nigel Farage

No one does straight-talking better than Farage; if he can talk a single issue protest party into a surging political force, he can probably talk you into shelling out for a nice four bed semi with sea views.

Where: Margate

Type of properties: Ex-B&Bs

Car: Jaguar

Catch phrase: It’s walking distance from the pub.


Natalie Bennett

No one can accuse Natalie Bennett of not being a trier. The Aussie lass gives everything 110% and is the sort of go-getter any estate agent would be proud to hire.

Where: Brighton

Type of properties: Straw-insulated eco-lodges

Car: Toyata Prius

Catch phrase:  I’m not really sure what I’m doing here…


Leanne Wood

Wood is the lovable Welsh aunt we all wish we had, and one imagines there isn’t a deal she couldn’t swing over a nice cup of tea. Unless it’s independence for Wales.

Where: Machynlleth

Type of property: Smallholdings

Car: Toyota Yaris

Catch phrase: Paid â chodi pais ar ôl piso.