Everybody loves celebrities, to the point that an entire industry exists with the sole purpose of following them around, taking pictures of what they were wearing, and who they were with, and what car they were driving when they hit that hobo. It goes without saying, you don’t want a media circus on your tenant’s doorstep every other morning. To ensure that your property doesn’t become the borough’s answer to Chateau Marmont (the guest house where many a star has breathed their last), take a look at our helpful tips for screening famous faces.
“Fast Eddie” made a fortune as a property developer, but his less-than-scrupulous practices, including bamboozling the government of Sierra Leone out of their own embassy and claiming at his own private residence, mean you’re not likely to get a very complimentary letter of reference. And you don’t want your property to be name-dropped in Tatler as a house of decadence for the wealthy and debauched, do you?
Solange is that rarest kind of celebrity; the flower that manages to bloom in her more famous sister’s shadow. She has quietly carved out a career as a singer and fashion icon in recent years, but is better known by millions for beating up Jay-Z in a lift. Sadly, a temper is the last thing you want in a tenant – it’s probably best you deny her application.
This one’s a no-brainer, really. His band had one hit song, ten years ago, and poor Pete doesn’t even carry the credibility of dating Britain’s favourite supermodel any more. Not to mention his rock’n’roll reputation for trashing flats (or at the very least converting them into crack dens).
As if it wasn’t bad enough that Bieber was charged last year with assault and dangerous driving, the entitled little so-and-so’s antisocial behaviour even extends to throwing eggs at his neighbour’s house. Sorry, but that is just beyond the pale, we don’t care how famous you are.
She’s got a long list of ex-lovers who’ll tell you she’s insane, ’cause darling she’s a nightmare dressed like a daydream.
We all know the story by now; O.J. was acquitted almost 20 years ago for the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson. But his behaviour since then has hardly been that of a model citizen; in 2007, he was charged with armed robbery and kidnapping. There’s not much risk of Simpson applying for a tenancy at your property, though; he’s currently in a 33 year lease at the Lovelock Correctional Facility in Nevada.
Once you get past the overpowering stench of dog mess, you might actually find that the matriarch of the Osborne clan is the perfect tenant. She’s absolutely loaded, meaning there will be no problem at all procuring reimbursement for any damages incurred by her brood of canines and offspring. We’re willing to give this one the benefit of the doubt.