You’re young, you’re single, and you’ve just moved into your glistening magnolia apartment. What man (or lady) about town wouldn’t want to turn their new new abode into somewhere they’d be proud to invite a recently made acquaintance back to overnight?
Fortunately, turning your apartment into a bachelor pad needn’t be a cash intensive business – it’s the little details that count, not the marble bath tubs. Here are the essential do’s and dont’s.
Keep it clean
Keeping the whole house clean goes without saying, but the bathroom must be kept religiously spotless. Nothing is more off-putting to an overnight guest than a touch of yellowing grouting or a brown speckle on the the toilet bowl. Replace shower curtains with the seasons.
Fluffy new towels
It goes without saying that your towels should should be 100% cotton – any self respecting overnight visitor is justified in leaving if they discover anything less. After around 30 washes, towels lose the magic soft fuzziness that inexplicably makes you want to bury your face into them at any opportunity. Regularly cycle through new ones – don’t feel bad about throwing out the old.
Keep your athlete’s foot cream out of the cupboard – it’s the first place a guest will look.
Books, books, books. In the (slightly amended) immortal words of John Waters; “If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t sleep with them.” Kindles don’t count.
Speakers and slow jams
There is literally nothing more unsexy in the English language than “what do you want to listen to“, followed closely by “do you mind if we listen to music on my laptop?” Buy a decent set of speakers and have the playlist waiting on standby.
Urgh, wires. It doesn’t matter how tidy the room is; leaving cables strewn around is going to bring judgement on the content of your character – doubly so if they’re attached to a games console.
You’re not a student any more, the Anchorman posters have to go. The same goes for Marilyn Monroe screen prints.
Much like your toilet bowl, there can’t be a hint of yellowing grime in your fridge. Zealously discard half-eaten tins of sweetcorn.
A wine rack stocked with a nice selection of Waitrose’s finest is essential if you’re planning on keeping an evening well lubricated. Keep some cheap chardonnay in the fridge just in case.
There’s a fine art to displaying spices in the kitchen. Line them up too neatly and you might look like a serial killer, leave them strewn around haphazardly and guests might think you’re a lazy slob. Aim for something in the middle.
Keep you bedding clean, crisp and in neutral colour. If you have man made fibers on your bed, it’s probably time to have a long and hard think about your priorities in life.
Ceiling-mounted lights don’t flatter anyone. Invest in a pair of bedside lamps that don’t look like they came from a Swedish ready-to-assemble furniture shop.
There is quite simply no object less sexy than a hastily botched together, DIY pine bedside table. You want your bedroom furnishings to be grown up – something with a little style and classs. Not something that rattles.
You’re not Austin Powers.
Mirrors – It’s a tricky business getting mirrors right, fortunately Rentify has a complete guide to help you out.